Hiatus over! :)

It's been a rough summer. But God tends to use roughness to smooth out all the crinkles and crotchety-ness out of His children. He's good like that.

Time to get back to business. But first, an update ;)

After completing my student teaching in June, I had multiple job offers in each of a half a dozen countries because of my excellent education, and vast network of connections from BYU-Hawaii. However, I felt strongly that I was not supposed to be a classroom teacher at this particular time. I was confused, because I truly enjoy teaching. I decided to prepare my mission papers, and planned to leave shortly after I returned home. Heavenly Father had other plans. My hope to serve a mission was postponed because of some sudden medical issues. 

I wanted so badly for Heavenly Father to make it clear what path I was supposed to take, as He had when I knew I was supposed to attend BYU-Hawaii. I realized I needed to put forth more effort. So, I looked at jobs around the world and at home and sent applications. I looked at graduate schools, although I had not considered continuing my education at this time. Nothing seemed to pan out. It was the most disheartening time for me, and I really struggled in spirit. Previous to this point, I had always had a plan, and I had always been successful. But now, I felt quite lost (particularly because I am the oldest of six children, and I did not want to disappoint my family).

 After I had done all I could do, I realized I needed to humble myself admit that my plans aren't as good as God plans, even if His plans do not seem to make sense to me. I fasted and prayed and tried to keep my mind open. About a week after this time, I was up late watching the show "Downton Abbey", which is set in England, and a thought came to me suddenly, "Why don't you go to Europe?".

I had looked at positions everywhere else in the world, but for some reason had not considered Europe. It was about three o'clock in the morning, but I started to Google positions for private governesses or in-home teachers. I came across an agency out of Australia that connected families with au pairs. To me, being an au pair (or nanny) was below me, because I had a professional teaching license. But, Heavenly Father was helping me learn that His ways are best. I decided to go ahead and interview with a few families, and I began to be excited about the prospects. Days passed, and I began to wonder if I was doing the right thing. I had scheduled one other interview, but I considered cancelling it because I was losing faith. Something made me keep the appointment, and do the interview. I began my video chat with a family in Düsseldorf, Germany, and made an instant connection.

 They made me an offer on the spot, one that was far better than any other I had yet received. This was in part because I was a member of the church, and their current nanny was also LDS, and though they were not, they loved Mormon nannies! I had to make a quick decision if they were to begin the visa application, and I felt so peaceful at that moment, so I said yes. After finishing the interview, I danced around my house and was so full of gratitude that things were starting to come together.

 It was only about an hour later that my mother mentioned she saw an advertisement for an online Masters of Education offered by a prominent Texas university. I called the university for further information, and found out that because of my bachelor's degree, Hawaii teaching license and teaching experience, I qualified for the advanced program without having to take the GRE. And, because I was accepted prior to leaving the country, my tuition would be less than half of the out-of-state price. I felt very drawn to a specialization in Clinical Mental Health Counseling based on my own struggles with depression and anxiety in the past. The counselors at BYU-Hawaii were amazing and helped me be a success at school and beyond.  I will graduate as a Licensed Professional Counselor, and be able to establish my own counseling practice if I so choose. 

Although it was one of the most challenging times of my life, I am so grateful that Heavenly Father saw fit to give me that trial, to increase my faith in Him, and to be more flexible when things do not go according to my plans. I think that spending all of 2014 working, traveling and completing my degree in Europe is a far more beautiful turn of events than anything I could have imagined. 

P.S. I also got to spend more than a month with my grandparents in Colorado (the first time I've seen them in more than four years). It was one of the most treasured times of my life!! They are hilarious! (As chronicled on Facebook). I am additionally grateful for all that I was able to learn in the way of family history. It was amazing!

Drawn or Driven?

Drawn or Driven?

It was pointed out to me, by my darling mother, that I am home to rest, and to re-coop, and to enjoy living for once. People have lives!

I informed her that potential employers do not like to see 'gaps' of time on resumes.

Mom pulled my nose up off the proverbial grindstone and asked me if I was happy here. (Here being home, and not having dozens of rods in the fire at one time as I did back in high school and college). Well, yeah...

I had asked her to help me figure out what I want to do in life...I'm drawn to so many things, but I just can't figure out what would be best. [And to think I was the know-it-all who used to give such beautiful life advice to friends...sheesh..did I really know what I was talking about? Or only in theory??]

Maybe this is why the Brits have a 'gap year'.

Honestly, I've burned out for the present time. Continually over committing myself out of a great sense of duty and if I can do it, then I should do it! makes me afraid of any obligations, like visiting teaching. I would volunteer for everything, saying no would mean I was unrighteous in some way. [No, I did not pull that from doctrine of course, but from this honorable, yet over zealous work ethic from my paternal lineage]. When I was in Hong Kong, I was ALL OVER the city, meeting up with missionaries, attending baptisms, wards, extra meetings, visiting, instead of resting (but in a tiny matchbox apartment shared by 4 gals, there wasn't room for 'resting', and jogging the same, lonely but beautiful trails with only my thoughts to keep me company; for though I liked meeting people, I was afraid of feeling obligated to jog with them every day and make more commitments.

And let's not talk about college so much right now...yes, I learned so much, and had many incredible learning and life experiences and made unforgettable friends, but the pressure I put on myself to do EVERYTHING was just painful. It wasn't until my last semester or two that I experimented with saying 'No' to requests to check friends' English papers in the middle of the night upon the recommendation of a friend..

But back to Mom's words.
Drawn, or driven. Driven or drawn. I asked what she meant.
Why not take the time and really learn to relax, and do explore things..possibilities for the future, but at night, let your subconscious work on it.

 I mentioned that doing creative things, where I can solve problems, really appeals to me. In the past, where I've had the same thing to expect at work the next day...be it chopping pineapples (though I did get to meet nice tourists), or sitting at a desk, I dreaded it!!

When you go to sleep at night, just think of a scene from a book, or create one for yourself, and act it out. I've done that for years....maybe write a story, or book, but I don't want you to feel I am driving you to anything!! - Mom

This almost crippling sense of duty to do what would serve the most people, what would fix the most problems in the world, set up my financial future the best, look the best, whatever, has for the most part blinded and deafened me to the call of whatever I really like to do. I haven't let myself be drawn to anything because I have erroneously assumed that anything I may want to do, probably should be sacrificed for something better. I guess a lot of times I've felt that, and maybe other people do too, that a dream or an aspiration is automatically wrong because we should pick the 'higher road', the 'harder road', so we can be humbled, and honored, and grow, and serve more people....sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice. Reading this paragraph has made me realize just how twisted the adversary has made my perception of good vs. bad.

• Matthew 7:17

  17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.

• 3 Nephi 14:17

  17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
  
  
  Would going a path that I love really bring forth evil fruit? I don't think so!! Not to mention, I wouldn't deliberately continue down a path if the Lord warned me that something was amiss, which I would trust He would do. And likely, there isn't ONE specific path, just like I don't believe that there is ONE soul-mate for everyone. 
  Maybe I've seen my Dad continually sacrifice what he loves and wants for what he thinks is better for others around him. I think he too may not allow himself to be joyful.  
  I was told by a dear friend (who happens to be a Christian psychologist ) that there is a fine line between humility and pride, and it's possible that one's efforts to be humble are in fact evidence of pride. I think that's exactly what I've been up to. I've been letting myself be driven by what I believe others will think is best for me and compounding that with giving up what I want in order to be sure that I am living that noble life of self-sacrifice. I've been burning the candle at both ends, and wrapping the whole thing with a fuse so it would burn even better. Now, I'm just tired. It's time to let go of being driven, and to pray, explore, and let myself be drawn to what really fascinates me. What have I loved to do in the past? Who do I need to talk to that has a job they love? What was I good at in college, but that I also actually liked? [At this point a LOT of credit needs to be given to my FABULOUS and INSPIRING professors at BYU-Hawaii who shared their genuine passion for their fields and helped spark keen interest in me in both my major and GE classes].
  
  
  Time for sleep, and to let that subconscious do it's work, while I rest up for tomorrow...and most importantly it's time to count the blessings I have been given that have carried me so very far in safety and in health, and to thank Him who allows me to worry about my future from the safe vantage point of home and family, and not from the point of fear, tragedy or emergency. 
  
  
  God bless :)

Is it relief? Or is it divine intervention?

It sounds as if someone is upstairs pulling drawers out of a dresser, pushing furniture around, and generally being inconsiderate of anyone searching for peace on the floor below. Can I push my frustrations upon this imaginary person? For truly, no one is upstairs doing those things, but the sound of the crashing waves of thunder pulling into the countryside is exactly the same.

Frustrations? What of them? Actually, I'm not really frustrated with any particular person, and not outwardly frustrated (I don't throw tantrums), but I keep churning the cauldron of 'shoulds' within myself.

'This career would be prestigious! I should do it!'
'This career would give me a nice chunk of change in the bank! I should do it!'
'This career would allow me to relax, and my doctor told me I need to take a break and relax, so I should do it'
'I should follow my heart and do what I love!!!'
'I should keep working, keep busy, I cannot be lazy!'
'I just found peace yesterday in not having the pressure of interviews and moving across the globe again for a few months, but I should accept this family's request for an interview tomorrow because I shouldn't turn down any possibility of employment'.

These shoulds make my heart clench. Even soaking in the Jacuzzi doesn't ease the knots in my shoulders.

Should! Should! Should!!!

I'm 'should-ing' all over myself, as a dear friend put it.

I got wrapped up with believing I could do anything I wanted, but when potential job opportunities didn't work out because of visa requirements, I found myself checked, and relieved, and grateful that Heavenly Father tenderly put out His hand to tell me to rest for a moment. Yes, I was very excited about the chance to go to Austria, and no it doesn't mean I cannot still go to Europe, but it did help me put things into perspective. I need a little rest. I can't figure out what I love to do if my mind is always worried about what I should do!

And though it is interesting to see if I could compete with the world's best governesses and nannies, I am not sure I want to go to 3 more years of school (nanny school in Bath, to be precise), after I've received my BA in TESOL Ed. The challenge was tempting (getting to be with famous families and to show them I can handle anything....proving to myself, always trying to prove myself). But now, I realize, I need a little more room to stretch and explore my options. There are so many things I love to do, but I can't enjoy any of them at the moment because I'm drowning in shoulds. Once I shoot the shoulds, I'll re-evaluate. In the meanwhile, I mean to put it all in the hands of the Lord, (yes I am doing my part), but I need to have more faith, and be more cheerful as a token of that faith, and relax. 

I need to find my smile and laugh again! And with the help of my hilarious family's antics, I think I'll be okay!

Momma says...Momma knows :)

Mom suggested I start writing my thoughts and impressions about this "world is my oyster" situation. There are so many things I'd like to say, but the underlying truth is this: I am learning to trust God.

I feel like as I'm getting older, Heavenly Father is giving me a little less light to work with in these "step into the dark" situations. Of course He is always there, and is answering prayers I haven't even thought of, but He is most definitely giving me new chances to build faith. Back when I was getting geared up to go to college in Hawaii, it was all pretty much set in stone. I KNEW I wanted to go to BYU - Hawaii, and I prayed every night for it, and just had faith it would happen. I had been telling everyone my plans for ages, and they all just fell into place.

Mongolia was a shocker, kind of a real surprise. I got a TESOL department email looking for interns, and responded. I didn't have time to ponder, or think or decide. Turns out I wasn't even the first pick of interns, but some people fell through and I ended up going. I was indeed shocked because somehow I had got to believing that getting into Hawaii was kind of the big dream that was answered in my life, and I wasn't in line for any more.

Good decision making seems to be the theme of my twenties (well, trying to make good, and faithful decisions). I know it is the theme for everyone, but both President Wheelwright and Elder Bednar spoke about making inspired choices at my graduation...and my temporal and spiritual inboxes are inundated with options.

Hong Kong came as a very literal feeling in my chest when praying about it...a confirmation AFTER I had already gone forward with it. (Per Pres. Wheelwright's advice..to "jump on the train" and ask Heavenly Father to let you know if you need to get off).

Now? I've got a teaching license and a degree as the result of a world class education. I'm home to rest after some serious burn out. I don't mean burn out in a negative way, I don't mean I'm sick of the wonderful things happening in my life. Far from it! I just pulled a Bachelor of the Arts with a full-time double major, some full time/ part time working, an internship, and then full time student teaching in a little under 3 years. (The classtime was 2 1/2).  Being educated in the most isolated island chain in the world meant I didn't get to see my family so often (but I've got friends who haven't seen their families in half a dozen years or more). Sooo, it's good to be home in the country with a zero-gravity chair on the back porch, a little money in my savings account, and mom's homemade cinnamon rolls.

But what's next?
Ya think I haven't thought of that?

:) You can blame Downton Abbey.

Here's the gist of things: Back in HK I realized I needed a job. I've got some student loans, and I do love the work I've set out to do. So I sat at my desk during a planning period and tried to figure out just what was available to me. Turns out, EVERYTHING. No kidding. I thought about what I liked, education, history, economics, science, literature, travel, anthropology.... it's like that bombardment that most kids feel freshman year of college, yet somehow I came out of college after pursuing my exact degree and realized I really could do whatever I wanted. I looked at grad schools. I considered joining the military as a chaplain ( I love religious studies). I looked at more grad schools, in Europe mostly. Then I started considering a mission for my church. In my faith, young men are strongly encouraged to go on missions, if not expected, at the age of 18. They serve for a period of 2 years as a full-time missionary engaged in service, proselyting, and various works of spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ. Girls are always welcome to serve, though not as strongly urged to do so, and they can serve at the age of 19 for a period of 18 months.

A mission has kind of been a given for me for my whole life. Both my parents served, and it just seemed to kind of be part of the future, not to be moved. Then came the announcement. I was serving pancakes at a 6AM breakfast for my ward (congregation) at school, and the college-aged kids were all strewn out, mostly asleep across the floor of the classroom, drowsily listening to the proceedings of the live broadcast of the semi-annual General Conference of our church. This was Oct. 2012. I remember President Thomas S. Monson (whom we sustain to be the current prophet in modern days, and who is president of our church) began to speak, and the tone of the whole conference preceedings changed. Before he even said anything of changes, it seemed that everyone in the room began to stir and sit up. Then he said it. There I was, with my spatula in hand, feeling the import of what he just said.

"Brothers and sisters, I now turn to another matter—namely, missionary service.

For some time the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles have allowed young men from certain countries to serve at the age of 18 when they are worthy, able, have graduated from high school, and have expressed a sincere desire to serve. This has been a country-specific policy and has allowed thousands of young men to serve honorable missions and also fulfill required military obligations and educational opportunities.

Our experience with these 18-year-old missionaries has been positive. Their mission presidents report that they are obedient, faithful, mature, and serve just as competently as do the older missionaries who serve in the same missions. Their faithfulness, obedience, and maturity have caused us to desire the same option of earlier missionary service for allyoung men, regardless of the country from which they come.

I am pleased to announce that effective immediately all worthy and able young men who have graduated from high school or its equivalent, regardless of where they live, will have the option of being recommended for missionary service beginning at the age of 18, instead of age 19. I am not suggesting that all young men will—or should—serve at this earlier age. Rather, based on individual circumstances as well as upon a determination by priesthood leaders, this option is now available.

As we have prayerfully pondered the age at which young men may begin their missionary service, we have also given consideration to the age at which a young woman might serve. Today I am pleased to announce that able, worthy young women who have the desire to serve may be recommended for missionary service beginning at age 19, instead of age 21."

About six months before the announcement, I was so overwhelmed by the desire to leave to serve a mission that I was about to burst..and suddenly, I felt like it was really in front of me. But, where was the desire?

I got several dozen likes on a status I posted about meeting a random girl on the sidewalk following that meeting and asking her if she was going to serve a mission. I got a response to the equivalent of "DUH!!!" (not in a rude way, of course). My feed on FB has been intravenously saturated with mission calls or marriage proposals since (guys don't want their girls to leave, I guess! Just like the one guy who woke up after the announcement and yelled out "Now there aren't going to be any girls to date!") 

I had just started working on my papers in September..but looking back, I realize I might have started as a sense of "this is what is expected of me, it's what I've been planning on..." instead of an outright desire to do it. Honestly, a sense of shame kinda accompanies that (Please refer to Dr. Brene Brown's definition of the difference between shame and guilt). I've since realized that there is NOTHING wrong with not having that desire, and it certainly doesn't mean I love God less, or don't enjoy serving His children and sharing His word with them. Sharing Him is such a part of what I feel to be my purpose in life that I can't NOT share Him when the opportunity seems right. 

Back to my desk in Hong Kong. I added the mission to the list of possibilities to march forward with. 

Within a week and a half, I received FIVE incredible job opportunities. 

1) A friend really wanted to hire me to teach in Korea

2) A headhunter called me at school, wanting to hire me to sell English software and train university personnel and students in it's use

3) A member of my local church congregation called me offering a partnership in starting an English academy in Hong Kong

4) Some friends in Thailand wanted me to join them in starting a school

5)...the real killer. The school that I was student teaching at in HK..the one at which I fell in love with my students, offered me a 2 year contract. Staying in HK would offer me the chance to visit my friends all over Asia, to stay with a group of colleagues who I felt so connected to...just like family. This was the option that kind of knocked the other four out of consideration, because I had for so long wanted to stay at my school.

There were some other possibilities I had to wheedle down. I almost signed up to interview for a teaching job in Abu Dhabi, which was not only lucrative, but highly adventurous. I had also applied in my home school district for 3 teaching jobs, been contacted by more than a dozen private English schools in mainland China, and sent my CV to Dominica, in the Carribean for consideration there. 

Windows started closing, but I didn't feel the hush of their breezes because I was suffocating under the decision of staying with "my kids" ... or going to serve a mission. 

The best way I can describe it was like a little flashlight hitting me in the back of my head in prayer, telling me I would grow more on a mission. So, I made my choice, and it was wickedly hard to do. However, my wonderful principal wanted to stay in touch, and wanted to hire me after if all worked out :)

And thus we've reached the present time. I'm back at home, and in the grace of the green lushness of my back pasture view, I've got to make the choices that determine my next adventures. But, things have changed AGAIN! 

While in HK, I found out that I've got some pretty significant thyroid issues. Since returning to America, I've been able to receive better care, but had to start from scratch due to the fact that none of the tests or medicine my HK doctors started me on really matched up to US standards. Another delay in the mission process (besides the fact that my department chair told me that I needed to continue with my student teaching and wait to submit papers until fall anyway). 

In the meanwhile, I've applied to be a substitute at the local school districts, and am thoroughly enjoying the rest (hypothyroidism feels probably like mono quite a lot of the time). Prayers are always coming from my heart, wondering about what's next..what's next... 

Mom's teaching me though. Never has one person more encouraged me to put faith in the Lord, and just relax and enjoy life as my Mama. So here's where the tone of this passage is about to change...cos' I want my heart to change. The last year or so has been so busy, and hurried, and worried, and somewhat wasted in the pursuit of perfectionism. (That's another entry for another time). Yes, I need to put hooks in the water, and keep fishing...but now I'm fishing with faith, instead of running around like a chicken with my head cut off.  The worrying was making me sick. As soon as I was able to let go... God started opening another door, and in prayer, I felt equally as if this was a good thing to do as the mission door I've been struggling to keep open out of a sense of duty. 

Finally, that connection with the aforementioned Downton Abbey. (I REALLY DON'T USUALLY TAKE SUCH A LONG TANGENT AWAY FROM THE HOOK...sorry : P )

I've been watching Downton Abbey, and falling head over heels with the thought of Europe. Yes, I love Asia, and perhaps the Lord will have more for me there to do sometime, but to be honest to the me who knows I can conquer anything He sets before me...I'm not a big city girl. I can do fine in the city when I need to, I can live there, haggle there, navigate, speak enough foreign language bits to make friends, and enjoy the amusements and personalities...but if I had to choose, I really prefer the country. So how does this all wind together?

Actually, I can't figure it out. Somehow, a few days ago, I ended up Googling "au pair, Europe". And within the course of about half a week, I became registered with a few real agencies. I sent out letters to some European friends to ask if they knew of anyone who needed a nanny with a degree in education, and my friend from London pointed out I could make more money as a governess. (Doesn't that title just sound so Austen-delish?) One top governess agency said I didn't have enough experience (5 years as the sole care-taker of children), but I've got other situations that might work. The work of sending out applications into the web-world across the pond has made me realize that I've got to leave more to the Lord, because I really have little control beyond making sure my resume and cover letter are polished. 

I see ads for rich and royal families looking for nannies to travel with them to the middle east and the Mediterranean, and my heart about bursts with yearning, and with the competition of negative thought that yells "Why should YOU get this? Who says you deserve that dream-come-true?!". Well, to put it bluntly to that negative prissy pot thought "God has already given me more than my dreams come true in the way of education and travel, so there!" (No, I don't hear voices, but when anyone is presented with the chance at a long-time dream, there are always those thoughts of 'too good to be true'). 

So, I'm waiting, and debating, and walking into the dark. For there seems to be a great deal of dark in this doorway, but still, something feels light, and feels right. It was the night before last that I was reading some ads of families in want of au pairs and I just started dancing with excitement. Mom pointed out, "I've never seen you this excited about serving a mission"..and I worried about my desire to serve God. She continued to explain that though it is my choice, had it really been the right time to serve, I would have been blessed with the desire to do so. She also reminded me that she too thought she was going to serve a mission at 21, and then had opportunities to work and travel, and went later, and that it certainly doesn't matter what other people think on the matter. 

I've got an interview tomorrow afternoon with a family in the south of Austria, right near the Slovenia/Croatia/Italian border. They live on a ranch in the countryside. It may work out, it may not (Dad says I'm selling myself short by wanting to work as a nanny, when I should be helping classrooms full of children - I had to stick up for myself and say that I knew what I wanted to do, and I would never be selling myself short). I will approach it all carefully, and make sure everything is real and laid out and safe. But when it comes time to walk into the darkness, I know Who will be there at the sunrise. :)

Now I understand

I thought I understood
I thought I was empathetic
I believed myself compassionate
And justified in my judgement
When my friends from other countries
Didn't want to come
The Gospel is for everyone!
You know that you should be here!
Well I was surrounded by admirers,
Teaching in my native tongue
I judged my 'friends' for being distracted and disinterested, but I should have been more helpful instead
Now I sit here.
Deaf in a room of joy
Wanting to serve and give
But feeling like a useless lump that may or may not make people feel uncomfortable and evoke unwanted pity
So my job now is to smile and blend in
And the language strive to learn
So far behind am I
But I don't want to inconvenience them!



This is a very personal poem, written at a time when it became clear that these growing pains were for my good. I wrote this while sitting in a room full of people at church, who do love me a lot, but for the moment were involved in other things and I was left to feel sorry for myself. Oh how the Lord loves me to give me this lesson that I may learn and begin to understand how my friends at BYU-Hawaii felt. I say "friends" because I do not think I was being a fair enough friend to them, even though they were so kind to me. I was not patient enough when they began to lose interest in coming to church. Now I understand. These were people like me who had lots of leadership experience and opportunities in their home wards and who now are reduced to wall flowers. Oh how its becoming painfully clear. But I am grateful for the experience.

Christian night life! hahaha

   Last weekend, I went to an activity in Hong Hum with a group of friends from church. They told me we were going to do karaoke to celebrate three of our birthdays. When we arrived at the place, I thought I was at a private club, because there were well dressed hostesses at a desk when we entered. Karaoke in America involves going to an open restaurant and singing in front of a lot of people, and buying your own dinner. Well, one of the hostesses led us down a long checker-tiled hallway lined with mirrors ad black doors. Honestly, it looked like something out of Willy Wonka. I was a bit concerned about what these private rooms meant, but my friend took one look at my face and started laughing. "We are not bringing you anywhere bad!". I relaxed when I realized that everyone in attendance was a return missionary.

The hostess opened one of the doors on the left and led us in. It was a private karaoke room!! There was cushioned bench seating around a large coffee table that would turn into an all you can eat buffet. At the opposite end of the room was a couple of screens, one of which was a large television, and the others were computers for selecting music to sing. It was a blast. We went out and down the hall to choose out our food, and used the phone in the room to order whatever we would like to drink  (I really love hot lemon water here). We brought the food back to our table in our room, and sang and ate and laughed.

        Every single Chinese song I saw had someone crying in it! When I asked my friend Johnny about it, he said that in America, men have guns and go shooting to let out their emotions, but Chinese men have to sing!


oh boy.

Some more interesting observations! As well as a few clips from my real life of "Kid's Say the Darndest Things"

When learning about procedural adverbs (first, second, then, last, finally...etc.), the students got to choose what they would add to a recipe for their favorite cake. Most picked chocolate, or fruit, but one student must have felt the effect of the lesson on a class held before lunch:

Teacher: "What did you put in your cake?"
Student: "My tongue!"

When doing story planning based on a story about a naughty little girl named Katarina who leans too far over the side of a Chinese junk (traditional boat), and falls into the water and needs to be rescued, the students decided to run the story like this:

The image given to them: Smiling Katarina playing in the water, holding a fish, with a crab latched onto her clothes, and a very angry whale with furrowed eyebrows behind her. [Because it is Asia, the cartoons in our textbooks are much cuter than yours!]

Who: Katarina, a whale, a crab, a fish
Where: The Ocean
What: Katarina's mom is sad. Katarina is dead. The whale is happy.

ai ya!!!

While walking down the road after work, I heard some very cute music playing loudly somewhere nearby. I assumed it to be coming from one of the nearby eateries, or from the people who give out the free fai chun (Chinese new year scrolls with wishes and blessings written on them) on the corners. After looking all around, I realized there was only one source of the music: a garbage truck!    You know how big trucks and commercial vehicles have that terribly annoying "BEEEP BEEEP" while backing up? No, garbage trucks in Asia play super loud, super cute music; the equivalent to what ice cream trucks play in the US. A fellow teacher confirmed it and said that the garbage trucks in her neighborhood in Taiwan played Fur Elise.


Crosswalks, or "Zebra crossings" as they are called under British influence here, have certain frequencies of clicks emitted by the crossing lights. Assumably, this is to help blind people, but if you happen to lift your head from texting on your smartphone, you will realize that it is probably of more help to you! Like I mentioned, everyone is on their smartphones here, and having the clicking for when to cross probably saves thousands of people addicted to their mobile devices.


Some other nuances, courtesy of the former British rule of Hong Kong:

- Subway does not mean train. It means a tunnel you can walk or bike through to go under roads.
- When someone tells you to take "the lift", they mean the elevator.
- A little snack shop on a beach is called a "Tuck Shop" in every other country but America...in the US, its usually a bar anyway. 

To Covet the Gift of Tongues

Ahhhh... to covet the Gift of Tongues!

I started Cantonese lessons this past week with a new friend in Sha Tin named Cheryl. She is very patient with me, especially because we do not make the nasally "ng" sound at the beginning of words, and it is crucial for being able to say "me" (gnoi). I think it is the number four (and am probably wrong) that is pronounced (say) with a softer tone. However, I pronounced it a bit too loud, and it meant "Die!". So now I know how to tell someone to go die.

Cheryl is also refreshing me in Putonghua (Mandarin), which, though it only has five fewer tones than Cantonese, it's a bit more difficult for me because the sounds are harsher. (I won't make the same mistake I made in college when I told my Chinese tutor in practice that I wanted to take out the garbage, and accidentally told him that I wanted to make out!! Tones.are.significant!)

As I got off at the Sha Tin MTR (MTR is the train system) station to meet Cheryl, it lets out into the New Town Plaza mall, which is GORGEOUS! However, I was quickly overwhelmed with people. For any of you who have been to the Galleria in Houston, you take the amount of people in that mall on Black Friday, shrink it down to a mall about a third that size (which is actually much, much nicer, and cleaner and efficient with excellent stores), and you have a good idea of the number of people I was dealing with. And the interesting thing is that it is not loud. Though there are incredible crowds, people aren't talking loud like Americans, they are doing their own thing, quietly, and crowds move fluidly and efficiently, like a clean river with no idle blocks.
   I finally made it out and decided to spend an hour sitting on a giant set of stairs outside the library instead of shopping around after my head had started to spin with the people and after 10 hours at the school, I was kind of wiped out. But it was nice to sit and watch people, which is one of my favorite things to do.

Two Sundays ago, we had a fun gathering the apartment of a friend from church. After eating (and I made the san choi, which is like bok choi... basically boiled lettuce/cabbage with some salt and oil and it is delicious!), they brought out a couple guitars and a couple ukuleles and we sang some songs. My friend's mom and dad sat down just like the parents Von Trapp and we sang Edelweiss!! (probably one of my favorite songs). The spirit really is in the homes of good people, and I felt that I was with family. 

A sea cucumber birthday delight with Tim Tams in Tai Po!

       I received birthday blessings for two solid days because of my new roots on this side of the International Date Line. My incredible gal pal roommates, Joey and Sing Sing (Jennifer) spent two evenings preparing some delicious food: one dish consisted of boiled lettuce/cabbage (called san choy here, not bok choy) with beef, another was loaded with variety of sliced peppers over savory, thin rice noodles, and the third similar in consistency to haupia (coconut gelatin), but made with eggs and sea cucumbers (hint: the latter is NOT a plant, Google it. It's one of my favorite things to snorkel for in Hawaii!) THE LESSON: If you are not willing to try something new, you very likely will pass up something you may really LOVE!

    They also made a chocolate cheesecake that really meant a lot because cheese of any kind (cream cheese in this case) is super expensive here.

I also taught them all how to do a Tim Tam Slam! (invented by the missionaries). Essentially, you bite off two opposing, diagonal corners of a tim tam to pretend like you are making a straw, then you dunk one opened corner into some hot chocolate and suck the other open corner really fast...the result is absolutely worth a video shot. Hahaha!

Of course I had to go to work, but the 16th meant a school wide jump roping contest that I got to compete in! With my hair in Anne of Green Gables braids, I felt really nervous to be handed the microphone and teach the kids some English cheers. Many parents were there to watch their kids and were watching me as I tried in vain to get them to pay attention to cheer "You can do it!" and "Let's go!". Instead, the majority of them continually yelled "Guy yao!" (Add oil! -- meaning to add fuel, get pumped, go go go!).

I felt kind of let down that I could not rally them together to chorus in English like the children in movies who yearn to learn English and pay explicit attention to the foreigner come to help them. Ha.  Ha.   Ha. These kids are way too independent for that.  For example, one of my first grade students is quite the charmer; when I speak to him in English, he gives me a look like "you've got to be kidding, you expect me to try to understand you?" and he leans his head toward one of the several cute little girls at his table who immediately translate for him.


Ai ya....


(the above is a Chinese groan of exasperation).

Losing Myself to Find Myself

Good Evening, All! (Particularly Kelley Murfin who asked me to update my blog, and made me feel special by the request).

      This has been a week of learning, and not only because it was my first week in my new school, position, and town. I really feel like I am figuring out how to function on my own, and to be okay with getting lost!
   In fact, this afternoon I ventured forth across Tai Po in order to find the bank I wanted to set up an account with. I have been determined to figure this city out, and sure enough, I made it! Afterwards, I wandered all over, just letting myself be lost, and be happy about it. [I am not dumb, I do have maps on my phone IF I needed them]. In the process of being lost, I wandered through plazas, the Mega Mall, across bridges spanning the rivers, and down park paths. I watched kids playing basketball, old men in important conversations, and a family of kittens swim down a storm drain and come up into the park. (Random, but the last kitten seemed to be swimming round and round in the tunnel and couldn't get out for a while..). I guess I've felt kind of pathetic like that this past week- getting lost within one block of my building (I was not raised a city girl at all!), not having very many responsibilities at the school during this week of exams, and feeling somewhat useless [I know it will be quite the opposite in a few weeks when I start teaching full time].
       In the time I've had to be alone, Heavenly Father has let me know some important things, of which I forgot.
1.  Satan's goal is to distract us from the things that matter most.
Satan really does not want us to take time off, and visit nature in order to clear our minds, and to focus more clearly on our communication and relationship with our Father in Heaven. I am so grateful that I can do so!
2. When my brain feels foggy and crazed, it usually means that my basic needs aren't being met.
3. I need to remember the difference between guilt and shame. Shame is artificial, and is usually the ammo in my habitual rounds of beating myself up for making mistakes. It has been a long haul, but I am able to see this process now, and replace it with rational thoughts.
4. Without taking time for God, I am more lost than anyone ever could be.


Whenever my Mom moved to a new town, she made it a point to take the first several days and "get lost". She purposefully drove all over town, getting lost over and over again so that she could orient herself to her surroundings. Very quickly she got her bearings and felt comfortable. I believe for each of us, in the things that are new in our lives, whatever those things are that are pulling us out of our comfort zone, those things that we wanted very badly but are now quite unsure that we want at all, we need to let ourselves get lost in them. We are not alone in this lost process...Heavenly Father is with us every step of the way if we let Him.
I challenge all of my friends to figure out how to get lost in whatever is challenging you. It may take time, and it may be scary, but it may be the only way you are ever going to get good at that thing you hate, and you won't regret giving up later.     You don't have to give up all of your time and energy to do so, but just be willing to try to do it, whatever it may be, or be willing to try it a new way.

Observations:
-On the MTR yesterday, I noticed a curious thing: many people were talking with each other! Instead of every person on a digital device, they were having conversations with the people around them, and it was very encouraging.
-So very many people are incredibly kind, and want to help you ... so I learned to humble myself and ask for help a bit more!
-For twenty minutes, I listened as a child in another apartment practiced clarinet with some degree of accomplishment. Two seconds after it ended, somebody in the park or in the adjacent building burst out with the most impressive bagpipe performance I've heard. Having neighbors keeps you entertained.
-It seems the ceilings in every building in HK are super thin. I sleep on the top bunk of a bunk bed, quite close to the ceiling. Late yesterday afternoon, I crawled up there for a nap. I woke to hearing tiny plastic wheels racing back and forth by my ear. Yes, the toddler upstairs had his hot-wheels cars on the floor above my head, and it sounded THAT close. It was kind of cool, and made me miss my little brother.
-When I opened my door this evening, I looked into our living room and thought "Oh my gosh, calling this place a flat instead of an apartment makes it even cooler!!!" :P
-Right or left? Okay, all the cars drive on the left, and for the most part, people walk on the left, unless its at a mall, in which case its on the right, but if you are in line at the MTR station, you go left, unless you are in a hurry, and then you see a great melding of people, kind of like when you intertwine your fingers. Somehow, nobody is injured in the crowds.
-The ambulances have the British sirens!!!!

-All of he trees are labeled! Seriously! I have yet to see a tree here in HK that does not have a number tag on it (and there are A LOT of trees here!) A friend suggested it was to help the gardeners know which ones to take care of.

-I saw a star tonight! Ya, just one. But, stars are hard to come by here, unless it is the stars in my eyes. Hahahahha.

And my biggest question of the week: should I go to church here in Tai Po this Sunday, in Kwun Tong (because I have friends learning about the church and Christianity) or down to Wan Chai (Where I have friends and there is the possibility of meeting cute, Mormon, Return Missionary international boys with accents).

As Grandpa Bill would say, "You've got some happy problems, Rotten!"

A recap of a few of the adventures of my stay in HK so far (minus my time with the missionaries!)

Delicious food daily, courtesy of Vivian's Mom!

Tai Po Waterfront Park, a discovery I am so grateful for!

To the top of an observation hill with a cool tower.

This picture makes me think of India, plus California skate park.

Why didn't I smile? Because I was pretending to take a photo of the trees across from me with the camera on the back of my phone so that the people walking by wouldn't know I was really being vain and taking one of my face with the pretty mountains and river. As a result, I think I look kind of confused. :P

Tolo Harbor

 

 Hong Kong's National Flower.

It is elegant, yet fun.

And its beauty reminds me that Heavenly Father is everywhere you go.

The way the leaves are kind of transparent makes me think that they have been smushed into the sky, like stepping on a leaf in the mud.

:D I call this gratitude.

Three cheers for circle scarves!

"Over the misty mountains cold...", well, wrong place, but this could be The Lonely Mountain!

Yes, I do! Just for YOU!

His picture is above my desk...this would probably have to be my favorite picture of all time. I love so many other beautiful pictures, but I adore this one.

My other new circle scarf!

I got sunshiiiinne on a clouuudy day! When its cold outsideeee, I got the month of May!

Yup, I really liked my hair down. However, when I want to be professional, I try to put it up because I'm afraid people will notice that I'm not Chinese.

I want to fit in!

MTR has a 99.9% efficiency rating, making it the most wonderful transport in the world. I rather like it myself!

When I saw this place next to the train station in Sha Tin Wai (pronounced Sa teen why), I loved the contrast of colors and styles, particularly because this could be a stereotypic image of HK, except for the fact that the building is twenty floors too short.

My view from my kitchen window. It is a green city. And actually, its rather quiet. Ulaanbaatar was filled with honking horns, but here, not at all.

For the record, they do taste better here. Not sure why. I think my cereal habit is going to be tough to break, but its okay, because all of my other meals consist of brand new cuisine each time!

Makes me dizzy!

The next big thing? Chinese New Year!!!

A green city

Brother Neal, my finance professor, told me that Hong Kong had lovely parks and gardens. Though there are 7 million people here, it is very peaceful.

Anisha's Asian Adventures, Some Observations in Hong Kong

First of all, I will write all Cantonse words out in a way to be easy to pronounce..but that is without applying any of the 9 possible tones.
Also, though I teach English, I am not perfect at it and I make these posts from  a touch screen phone while using public transportation, so please bear with me. Also, studies show that first language accuracy can be compromised while learning a new language (just read your older brother's mission letters!)

These notes are some of the things I've noticed while traveling in Hong Kong and meeting people. I travel by foot, bus, mini bus, and less often by taxi. Some of the observations in my travelogue will describe experiences and opportunities I have had to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ in areas where it is legally allowed and culturally appropriate. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ (Mormons), and everyday I am grateful for the knowledge I have of Heavenly Father's love, blessings, and expectations of me. The principles I have learned of how to govern myself and of how to count my blessings have opened countless doors for me and chances to grow. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions about my posts at bh.photo.girl@gmail.com and visit mormon.org.

Some observations:
-If you are one of the very few to have a personal car it is probably a Benz or a Porsche.

I've seen three stars in the sky in the last week because of the lights.

I've gotten to sit in on investigator lessons this week and even though I do not know the language, the Spirit has helped me contribute (with the missionaries translating) and allowed me to be an instrument for the Lord despite my weakness.

I know that:
kaytau is pray, cheesaw is toilet, zeedow is know.

By my 3rd day I was able to ask the little old lady on the bus if she knew where the my friend's apartment was. I also used the bus by myself for the first time. I am not sure what I would do without the Gospel that teaches me to pray, have faith and provides missionaries as well as instant family and eternal friends wherever I go-- not to mention a marvelous purpose when I hang out and help the missionaries.

I've felt proud and overwhelmed and scared that I won't remain humble because so much attention is focused on me.

Everyone has a smartphone and is always on it.

Everyone grabs an aisle seat if possible so they  can leave first even if it means having you crawl over them.

You may get fish water in your face if you walk through an alley meat market while they are transporting  live, flipping fish.

I keep wondering if the next sudden, steep, green mountain that appears in front of me when I walk out from between two buildings is the famous monkey mountain, even though I know it is much farther north.

Even though I don't understand much its starting to feel like home

Learning mandarin, even poorly so long ago helps a lot and gives me a good stepping stone!

I'm avoiding frustration by asking about words, saying them, but not pressuring myself to remember everything. There is usually someone within reach who speaks Engish, like students in high school.

My view of a different heaven :)